Dope On Plastic by Sean-Michael Yoder

   It's winter and you know what that means:  cold weather, Christmas, in-laws, anthrax scares, and lots of bad Christmas related music as the major labels kick into high gear trying their best to keep our patriotic spirits high with tons of lame ass music. However, we all have much to be thankful despite all of the tragedies that have befallen us this year. The Lord Of The Rings, Thanksgiving turkey, another basketball season (both NCAA and NBA), and best of all great music being released under the radar of all the Christmas hype.

   Best new release of Winter 2001 belongs to one Richard James AKA Aphex Twin. His latest double disk magnum opus entitled drukqs  (Sire/Warp) takes this electro punk back to his "aceeeed" roots. Longtime fans will be sated with James' usual amount of noisy drum & bass histrionics but will be shocked and amazed by the "gasp" haunting piano melodies on drukqs quieter moments. This listener was reminded of John Cage's compositions of toy pianos on many of the disk's best moments. A hyped released for sure but it's one well worth seeking out. Also filed in the old veterans category is the latest from resident Lower East Side maniac Jim Thirlwell best known under his moniker Foetus. His latest, Blow  (Thirsty Ear) features the creme de le creme of the IDM (intelligent dance music) scene remixing tracks from the last studio release Flow.  Obnoxious as always, producers like Amon Tobin, DJ Food, Kid 606, Pan Sonic, Panacea to name a few either tone down Jim's nastiness or accentuate it. The whole project comes off sounding like a really bad day at the dentist but despite all the freakin banging and pinging Blow really shines as a lasting testament to one of the godfathers of electronic music. DJ Jester the Filipino Fist is also noisy but he likes his noise a little more refined. His debut disk, River Walk Riots (filipinofist@hotmail.com), is a true labor of love for the guy who once drove the Boca Burger wagon around the country. A living and breathing turntablist, his hands commit more musical train wrecks in 20 minutes than Amtrak does in a week. Setting Willie Nelson, Ween, Pavement and Richard Simmons to a hip hop beat is no easy task but this Texan is more than making up for the error we all put in the White House. If you love Kid Koala than you cannot live without River Walk Riots . S. I. Futures is the moniker of UK chameleon Simon Begg. On his debut full length The Mission Statement (Novemute) he explores all avenues of the long forgotten musical genre of electro. You remember electro from your cardboard and breakin and days. Maybe you were too young or your cracker ass just plain tuned out to the days of poppin and lockin. The Mission Statement  updates this ol skool artform adding almost a punishing amount of noise, exciting nu skool breaks and the sickeningly infectious "We Are Not A Rock Band". Thanks Si we weren't quite sure.

   Of course there is more conventional dancefloor friendly music for all you candy asses out there to be thankful for. Actually there's a whole slew of fine releases for all of us to celebrate just in time for Christmas. UK HardNRG mixed by  LA's legendary DJ Swedish Egil (Strictly Hype) explores the bold new sound of NuNRG being hyped by everyone from the UK, as well as Ron D. Core, and the crazy guy who lives next door to me. From the sound of things NuNRG sounds a lot like good old UK hardhouse mixed with the breakneck tempos of happy hardcore and the atmospherics of crappy trance. Perfect music for 15 year kids discovering their first k-hole. Fans of the Nukleuz label take note. DJ Irene's Globalhousediva 2-Live In Ibiza (Strictly Hype) features more of those annoying hardhouse bouncy basslines and crappy trance progressions but has quite a few great moments including the megahit "Finally" by Kings Of Tomorrow. At a whopping 31 tracks DJ Irene is way too much to swallow in one sitting but is perfect for those long late night car trips. Leave it up to Paul Van Dyk to show us kids what it is all about. At 28 he is a geezer in terms of electronic music but over the past five years this East Berliner has practically defined the word trance. His latest 6 track EP offering Columbia  (Mute) more than amply proves there is a very large gulf between the good trance and the crappy stuff. This EP shows how mature and deep trance can be without ever losing it's fun energy or beauty. While Columbia  is no substitute for a proper full length from Van Dyk it does showcase his tremendous talent as a producer. This is where trance music is headed in 2002. Another old veteran makes a return to the scene. This time the scene is drum and bass and the veteran on the comeback is the UK badbwoy Goldie. Fresh off appearances in "Snatch" and "TheWorld Is Not Enough" it seems ol Goldie has his eyes set on Hollywood. Lucky for us fans he took the time to bust a domestic jungle mixdisk entitled goldie.co.uk (Moonshine) before making his big celluloid splash. Instead of dropping exclusive dubplates and the tons of hard noisy shit that the jungle scene has devolved into Goldie keeps it real by bringing the hits from a wide spectrum of producers. Drum and bass maybe on its last legs but it will always be alive as long as the gold toothed one is alive and kickin'. Another badbwoy, this time from NYC, DJ Onionz has been a house DJ since the days of the old school and has more than enough tattoos to prove it. Part of the vaunted East Coast/West Coast 6400 Crew, DJ Onionz' Future Acoustics (Mannequin Odd) is a template for the mythical West Coast sound everyone keeps hyping up. An excellent journey to every corner of the house music globe Onionz brings us many different kinds of funk-from the deep jazziness of Alaska Soul to the tracky peak hour house of San Diego's H-Foundation. Anyone who includes a track entitled "Music Is My Way Of Life" on their disk can kick it at my place anytime.

    After all the madness of a the new year gives way to the drudgery that is everyday life and the holidays are over for another year. We can breathe a sigh of relief that made it through another year and remember the people who weren't fortunate enough to be around. For those moments we all need music to help us pause and reflect. No disk is more appropriate during these troubled times than Arabian Travels (Six Degrees) a contemporary electronic journey into the heart of traditional Middle Eastern music. Haunting yet relaxing, every track on this 10 track compilation more than proves that war will always be conquered by music. Bertrand Burgalat's The Sssound Of Mmmusic  (Emperor Norton) is proof that the French may say they hate us Americans but they really love Jerry Lewis, Lou Reed, Sharon Stone, Phil Spector, Neil Diamond and Brian Wilson. Sorry you can't have any of those things without a healthy bunch of stewpid Americans. "Sunshine Yellow" has to be one of the best tracks out right now. The lounge revolution is in full swing. Last but not least is Beck and Beastie Boys' ivory tickler Money Mark's latest Change Is Coming (Emperor Norton) a funky mofo of a record on the level of Dr. John's Gris-Gris elpee and further proof that LA-based Emperor Norton have their finger on the pulse beat of cool.